Well. Christmas is almost upon us. And well you might ask, "What may I legitimately drink with my Christmas breakfast that will suitably dull the inevitable parade of re-gifters and drunken uncles that is to come?".
It is a good question. Because if you can't beat them, you might as well join them.
Since the mercury is bound to be soaring, you will want something nice and cold and I can think of little better than what my brother refers to, frighteningly, as his "breakfast wine" (although, I'm sure he nicked that from Matt Skinner).
But hey, if the girls can get away with champers at this time of day all year, then the rest of us can surely sneak in a little bit of early morning Christmas cheer by tearing the wrapping off this little fellow.
The Innocent Bystander Pink Moscato is indeed a friendly little drop, with a hint of fizz and a pink flourish that doffs its cap agreeably to the season.
It smells sweetly of strawberries and a kind of musky perfume that reminds you of awkward fumbles on highschool dancefloors. It bubbles with laconic enthusiasm, but still lets you know there will be a hint of sharpness to offset the sweetness.
And there is really no getting away from it. It is sweet. Really sweet. But it also has that lovely level of tamarind tartness to accompany it. It is not dissimilar to liquefied (and clarified) cranberry sauce, and so it will of course go down nicely with your Christmas ham.
At only 5.5% alcohol, you could easily make the argument that it doesn't really even count as booze because, in truth, there is probably more alcohol on Father Christmas’ breath. Still, it is just enough to make your Aunty Sharon's stories tolerable (probably), while still allowing you to put on a fine display when the backyard cricket begins after lunch.
The makers suggest drinking it with a straw. But that concept is unfathomable heathenry. You should instead swig it straight from the bottle. Or pour it in a tall glass and tell the rellies that it’s grapefruit juice.
My one criticism is that it comes in only a 375ml bottle and that, frankly, is just mean. It might as well have “Bah humbug” written on the label. Happily, I have discovered the solution – buy two of them.
At $12.50, it is certainly worth buying yourself a couple for Christmas this year.
Drink with: Brekky